Excuse Cheer

by Timothy Tocher

Our center’s nose was runny.
Our forwards had the flu.
The guards were feeling funny.
That’s why we lost to you.

Your team is overrated.
We really didn’t try.
Our coach was constipated.
I’m telling you no lie.

Now go and take a shower
and hop back on your bus.
You know we’ll beat you next time,
so you’d best watch out for us!

  — Timothy Tocher

Copyright © 2008. All Rights Reserved. From I Hope I Don't Strike Out: and Other Funny Sports Poems. Running Press. Reprinted by permission of the author.

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From I Hope I Don't Strike Out: and Other Funny Sports Poems

I Hope I Don’t Strike Out is the first major anthology of funny poems about sports. It was designed to motivate sports-loving boys and girls to read by focusing on the funny side of sports. It covers all major sports in which kids participate, including baseball, football, basketball, soccer, swimming, skiing, running, karate, golf, volleyball, and dodgeball. Kids will love poems that serve up the “inside scoop” on how catchers make batters take their eyes off the ball, how nervous batters hit fastballs they can’t even see, blood-curdling cheers that cause opponents to run home to their mommies, what to expect your first day at karate school, what not to pack for a ski trip, and how to score the winning goal in a kindergarten soccer game. In all, 22 of the funniest sports poems ever published are sure to have kids laughing while they sit on the bench, waiting for a starter to foul out.

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About the Author

Timothy Tocher is the author of five, sports themed books for middle grade readers. He writes short stories, poems, and nonfiction articles for all ages. His poems for children have been published in England, Ireland, Germany, and Singapore.

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