I Pledge Allegiance

by Timothy Tocher

I pledge allegiance to the floor,
the walls and ceiling, classroom door.
I pledge allegiance to my books,
to desk and papers, coat rack hooks.
I pledge allegiance to my bag,
to Joni’s pigtails – and the flag.

  — Timothy Tocher

Copyright © 2004. All Rights Reserved. From If Kids Ruled the School. Running Press. Reprinted by permission of the author.

How funny was this poem?

Click on a star to rate it!

Since you found this poem funny...

Please share it!

Print this Poem

Click Here to Print this Poem

About this Poem

Did you know that in a 30-year career, the average teacher will lead his class in the Pledge of Allegiance more than 5,000 times? I couldn’t help but notice that my students weren’t always focused on the flag as they recited. This one is from If Kids Ruled the School.

From If Kids Ruled the School

If you’ve ever tried to convince Mom and Dad that the F on your report card stands for “fabulous,” this hilarious collection of school poems is for you! In the tradition of the popular anthology No More Homework! No More Tests!, this book covers wild and wacky school topics, like bringing skunks to show-and-tell, falling asleep at your desk, and ripping your pants on the playground. The big-timers of children’s poetry have converged on the pages of this book to deliver the very best in school poetry. Just ask the hundreds of elementary-school students who helped handpick these poems: Each poem is guaranteed to make you giggle, grin, and/or guffaw!

If Kids Ruled the School contains 50 giggle-inducing poems about school, covering everything from homework and tests to school lunches and detention.

Buy This Book

About the Author

Timothy Tocher is the author of five, sports themed books for middle grade readers. He writes short stories, poems, and nonfiction articles for all ages. His poems for children have been published in England, Ireland, Germany, and Singapore.

Follow Timothy Tocher



Poems by Email

Enter your email address to receive free funny poems daily! Unsubscribe anytime.