Man’s Best Friend
Fido failed to fetch.
He would not roll or sit.
He hated walking on a leash,
his collar didn’t fit.
He never learned to heel.
Or speak upon command.
I tried to make him lick my face,
it didn’t go as planned.
Turns out I had made,
an obvious mistake.
I should have bought a dog instead of
purchasing a snake!
— Tiffany Strelitz Haber
Reprinted by permission of the author.
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