My Brother’s Not Evolved Yet

My brother’s not evolved yet.
He lies in bed all day.
He has an old and musty smell
that will not go away.

He shuffles down the hall
and beats his chest just like an ape.
He will not get a haircut
so his head’s a monkey shape.

He grunts in monosyllables.
He cannot say “hello”.
He won’t say “please” or “thank you”—
these are words he doesn’t know.

He drags his knuckles on the floor.
His chin’s encased in fluff.
He pillages the fridge to binge
until he’s had enough.

I’m so fed up of living with
this simian buffoon.
My brother’s not evolved yet.
I hope it happens soon.