Stinker by Tiffany Strelitz Haber

I decided late one morning, I was finished taking showers.
Fifteen minutes everyday was adding up to hours.

Scrubbing, cleansing, rinsing, drying—every single day.
I’d cut it down to once a month and save some time that way.

The 1st week went by quickly and you couldn’t even tell.
The 2nd week was trickier—my hair began to smell.
Week 3 presented problems, I was itchy as can be.
Week 4 was just disgusting, and my friends all hated me.

Still I felt accomplished, I was saving tons of time.
So what if I’m a stink machine…is smelling bad a crime?

Well one day I had had enough of never taking showers.

I took one, and to clean myself took 27 hours!!!

  — Tiffany Strelitz Haber

Reprinted by permission of the author.

How funny was this poem?

Click on a star to rate it!

Since you found this poem funny...

Please share it!

Print this Poem

Click Here to Print this Poem

About the Author

Tiffany Strelitz Haber, author of The Monster Who Lost His Mean, Ollie and Claire, and More Cheese Please!, was born in NJ, raised in NYC, has traveled extensively and lives for adventures. She will taste any food she is served, be it fried Witchetty Grubs on a stick or Calf’s Brain Ravioli, and loves being deep in the woods or under the sea. Her obsession with rhyme began at the age of 3, when a nursery school admissions scout asked her, “What is a flower that rhymes with nose?”, and she proudly shouted: “Rose!”. Many years later, after a long career in finance, she has reconnected with her love of words and rhyme as a writer.

Follow Tiffany Strelitz Haber


Other Books by Tiffany Strelitz Haber


Poems by Email

Enter your email address to receive free funny poems daily! Unsubscribe anytime.