The Biggest Burp Ever
The record, so far, for the world’s biggest burp,
is held by Belinda Melinda McNurp.
It wasn’t on purpose. She wasn’t to blame.
Her tummy just rumbled, and out the burp came.
Belinda then instantly saw her mistake.
The ground began trembling and starting to shake.
That rumble was suddenly more of a roar.
It busted the windows and knocked down the door.
Her mother and father both covered their ears.
Her brother and sister were nearly in tears.
Her puppy looked panicked and yipped as he fled.
Her kitten just cowered and covered his head.
The cars on the street began skidding and stopping.
The shoppers in shops started dropping their shopping.
The squirrels all burrowed. The birds flew away.
The sun disappeared for the rest of the day
as clouds began thundering all around town.
The trees toppled over. The buildings fell down.
Tornadoes and hurricanes blew through the sky.
The rivers flowed backward. The oceans ran dry.
Volcanoes erupted from Perth to Peru.
The Grand Canyon widened. Mount Everest grew.
The earth started spinning a different direction.
And, worst of all, I lost my iPhone connection.
Belinda was pretty embarrassed alright,
but she was well-mannered, and very polite.
And that’s why she knew it would all be okay
when she said, “Excuse me,” and went on her way.
— Kenn Nesbitt
Copyright © 2014. All Rights Reserved. From The Biggest Burp Ever: Funny Poems for Kids. Purple Room Publishing. Illustration by Rafael Domingos. Reprinted by permission of the author.
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From The Biggest Burp Ever: Funny Poems for Kids
Children’s Poet Laureate Kenn Nesbitt is back with more of the raucous rhymes and zany zingers that kids love to read. The Biggest Burp Ever includes seventy new poems about wacky animals, comical characters, funny families, silly situations, and much, much more.
Take a deep breath. Hold on tight. Fasten your seat belt! The Biggest Burp Ever is another epic romp of rib-tickling rhyme on the endless roller coaster ride known as Kenn’s prolific pen! —Charles Ghigna – Father Goose
Kenn Nesbitt has an amazing power: He’s a poet whose punchlines aim straight for the funny bone and rarely, if ever, miss. Here, in this brand-new collection, the Master of the Looney-verse pays another welcome visit to planet Mirth, delivering a pun-packed pummeling that is guaranteed to leave young readers everywhere reeling with joy. —Graham Denton, children’s poet and anthologist
The Biggest Burp Ever by Kenn Nesbitt dials up the silly factor to 11. With a verbal palette as bright as childhood itself, the Children’s Poet Laureate covers topics from Xboxes to pizzas to pets and delivers a chuckle on every one. Fair warning: Upon reading one of his punchlines, I had milk coming out of my nose, and I hadn’t even drunk any. —Brian P. Cleary, author of the Words are CATegorical series