The Oven Strikes Back

I bought some pots and pans one day
while on a shopping spree.
I haven’t ever cooked before,
but how hard can it be?

Beat some eggs and
chop some veggies…
marinate the meat.
Salt it,
flip it,
fry it,
whip it.
Lather, rinse, repeat.

I could hardly wait.
I popped it in the oven
with the timer set for 8!

Trembling with excitement
over tasting my creation…
I’ll be a culinary hit,
an overnight sensation!

I opened up the oven door,
and quickly looked around.
my dish was GONE and in its place,
a note is what I found:

I know you had high hopes for this.
I know you put your love in.
but I can’t let you serve that dish.
It’s awful.

The Oven

  — Tiffany Strelitz Haber

Copyright © 2020 Tiffany Stelitz Haber. Reprinted by permission of the author.

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About the Author

Tiffany Strelitz Haber, author of The Monster Who Lost His Mean, Ollie and Claire, and More Cheese Please!, was born in NJ, raised in NYC, has traveled extensively and lives for adventures. She will taste any food she is served, be it fried Witchetty Grubs on a stick or Calf’s Brain Ravioli, and loves being deep in the woods or under the sea. Her obsession with rhyme began at the age of 3, when a nursery school admissions scout asked her, “What is a flower that rhymes with nose?”, and she proudly shouted: “Rose!”. Many years later, after a long career in finance, she has reconnected with her love of words and rhyme as a writer.

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