There’s a Bully in My Locker

by Jeff Mondak

There's a Bully in My Locker by Jeff Mondak

There’s a bully in my locker,
And it’s not a pretty sight.
It’s not what he was planning,
But he’s stuck inside there tight.

Yes, he’s jammed inside my locker
With his bully face so red.
Though this could have been a nightmare,
It’s a perfect day instead.

He came to me to bully,
It’s the bully thing to do.
But sadly for this bully,
He forgot to tie his shoe.

He came up far too quickly.
First he grunted, then he tripped.
He fell against my locker,
And his bully pants were ripped.

A hundred kids with quarters
See the bully for a fee.
A bully’s in my locker,
And it’s working fine for me.

  — Jeff Mondak

Copyright © 2016. All Rights Reserved. From The Toy Box Ate My Brother. JPFK. Illustration by Mew Tachibana. Reprinted by permission of the author.

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From The Toy Box Ate My Brother

Works by children’s poet and songwriter Jeff Mondak have been read and heard by millions of children of all ages. Jeff’s poems have appeared in books and magazines in the United States, Australia, Canada, England, Germany, India, Ireland and Sweden. Many of Jeff’s poems also have been made into songs, including all tracks on Sergio Wals’ children’s music CD Michael Closed the Bathroom Door, all tracks on Mick Brady’s children’s music CD Triple the Pickle, and ten songs on rock band NxT’s CD Sounds Familiar. Now, in The Toy Box Ate My Brother, Jeff presents his first-ever solo poetry collection, featuring over 40 of his favorite funny poems. Each poem is accompanied by a delightful illustration by artist Mew Tachibana.

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About the Author

Jeff Mondak is a children’s poet and songwriter living in Champaign, Illinois with his wife, his two sons, and his dog. Since 1997, he has written over 200 poems, including the book The Toy Box Ate My Brother, and the lyrics for Mick Brady’s CD Triple the Pickle and Sergio Wals’ CD Michael Closed the Bathoom Door. When not writing poetry, he is the James M. Benson Professor in the Department of Political Science at the University of Illinois.

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