What’d You Learn at School Today
“What’d you learn at school today?”
my mom will surely ask.
I’m certain that my answer
will leave her quite aghast.
I learned that spit wads stick to walls
and on the teacher’s cheek.
I learned I have detention
after school for one whole week.
I learned the cafeteria
is a carrot “no-fly” zone.
I learned that I will eat my lunch
in a small room all alone.
I learned that science chemicals
can make a stinking mess.
I learned I lost the privilege
of enjoying noon recess.
I learned my vicious dodge-ball throws
can hurt a person’s chin.
I learned that I no longer may
participate in gym.
I learned the school bus is no place
to trip kids with my feet.
I learned that I will ride all year
in a private front-row seat.
If moms would just quit asking,
“What’d you learn at school today?”
their hearts would not be broken
and their hair would not turn gray.
— Paul Orshoski
Copyright © 2006. All Rights Reserved. From My Teacher's in Detention: Kids' Favorite Funny School Poems. Running Press. Reprinted by permission of the author.
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From My Teacher's in Detention: Kids' Favorite Funny School Poems
This book delivers hilarious poems about school that cover everything from homework and tests to detention and school lunches. Well-known poets Bruce Lansky, Kenn Nesbitt, and Robert Pottle—plus many more great Giggle Poets—wrote these gems.
My Teacher’s In Detention contains 50 hilarious poems about school that cover everything from homework and tests to detention and gross-out school lunches. The book contains poems by well-known poets, including Bruce Lansky, Kenn Nesbitt, Robert Pottle, and more great “giggle poets.”
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About the Author
Paul Orshoski is a former schoolteacher, coach and principal from Sandusky, Ohio. He writes witty, humorous, rhyming children’s books and poems. Paul is the author of thirteen children’s books published by Treasure Bay, Inc. of Novato, California. Treasure Bay is a leading publisher of educational children’s books designed to enhance parent involvement in reading.
His books, part of Treasure Bay’s We Read Phonics series, include Where is My Frog?, Bugs on the Bus, Ant in Her Pants, I Do Not Like Greens!, Robot Man, Talent Night, Sports Dream, Dad Does It All, and Who Took the Cookbook?. The We Read Phonics books are designed to make it easy for parents to help their children improve phonics skills and read a decodable story. Each book combines a fun story with simple games for phonics and sight words. Three of his We Read Phonics books—Where is My Frog?, Robot Man, and Sports Dream—were selected as Mom’s Choice Awards Gold Honor winners in 2011. Treasure Bay also publishes a We Both Read series. Paul has four books published in that series entitled, My Sitter is a T-Rex!, The Mouse in My House, The Mouse in My House / Un raton en mi casa, and The Ant and The Pancake.
Paul is also the author of several poems that appear in poetry anthologies published by Meadowbrook Press, Scholastic, Inc., and Little, Brown Books for Young Readers. These include: My Teacher’s in Detention, Dinner with Dracula, I’ve Been Burping in the Classroom, I Hope I Don’t Strike Out, What I Did on my Summer Vacation, and One Minute till Bedtime. Paul’s poems have also appeared in the following magazines: Boys’ Quest, Fun for Kidz, Hopscotch for Girls, Scholastic Action, and The School Administrator. Paul enjoys making kids giggle during school visits by enthusiastically performing his poems and books in small or large group settings wherever he is asked to present.
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