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Bigfoot’s Bottom

by Paul Orshoski
3.4
(251)

While roaming through the wilderness
one daunting, creepy night,
I noticed a mysterious,
spine-tingling, shocking sight.

Through fog and mist I slithered through
the haunted atmosphere,
and right there in the ground I saw
a print of Bigfoot’s rear.

Though scientists have searched to find
where ape-men placed their feet,
I just might be the first to find
where Bigfoot took a seat.

  — Paul Orshoski

Copyright © 2006. All Rights Reserved. From Dinner with Dracula: A Spine-Tingling Collection of Frighteningly Funny Poems. Meadowbrook Press. Reprinted by permission of the author.

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About this Poem

The idea for this poem came from an actual news clipping I read once in a newspaper. Most Bigfoot stories seem to involve somebody having seen Bigfoot’s footprint or shadow somewhere in the wilderness. The clipping I read was about somebody having seen an imprint in the ground of where Bigfoot had apparently sat down and left a rear end print. I liked the idea of writing about a new approach to a Bigfoot sighting and this is the poem I came up with.

From Dinner with Dracula: A Spine-Tingling Collection of Frighteningly Funny Poems

Dinner with Dracula is a hilarious collection of scary, spooky, spine-tingling poems about werewolves, vampires, headless horsemen and other creepy creatures that will tickle kids’ funny bones.

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About the Author

Paul Orshoski is a former schoolteacher, coach and principal from Sandusky, Ohio. He writes witty, humorous, rhyming children’s books and poems. Paul is the author of thirteen children’s books published by Treasure Bay, Inc. of Novato, California. Treasure Bay is a leading publisher of educational children’s books designed to enhance parent involvement in reading.

His books, part of Treasure Bay’s We Read Phonics series, include Where is My Frog?, Bugs on the Bus, Ant in Her Pants, I Do Not Like Greens!, Robot Man, Talent Night, Sports Dream, Dad Does It All, and Who Took the Cookbook?. The We Read Phonics books are designed to make it easy for parents to help their children improve phonics skills and read a decodable story. Each book combines a fun story with simple games for phonics and sight words. Three of his We Read Phonics booksWhere is My Frog?, Robot Man, and Sports Dream—were selected as Mom’s Choice Awards Gold Honor winners in 2011. Treasure Bay also publishes a We Both Read series. Paul has four books published in that series entitled, My Sitter is a T-Rex!, The Mouse in My House, The Mouse in My House / Un raton en mi casa, and The Ant and The Pancake.

Paul is also the author of several poems that appear in poetry anthologies published by Meadowbrook Press, Scholastic, Inc., and Little, Brown Books for Young Readers. These include: My Teacher’s in Detention, Dinner with Dracula, I’ve Been Burping in the Classroom, I Hope I Don’t Strike Out, What I Did on my Summer Vacation, and One Minute till Bedtime. Paul’s poems have also appeared in the following magazines: Boys’ Quest, Fun for Kidz, Hopscotch for Girls, Scholastic Action, and The School Administrator. Paul enjoys making kids giggle during school visits by enthusiastically performing his poems and books in small or large group settings wherever he is asked to present.

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