Don’t Wear Your Knickers on Your Head
Don’t wear your knickers on your head,
Don’t use them as a bag.
Don’t tie your knickers to a pole,
And wave them like a flag.
Don’t cut two eye-holes in the seat
To frighten Auntie Jean,
Then use them as a scary mask
To wear on Halloween.
Don’t take your knickers to the beach
And fill them up with sand.
Don’t stretch them over tops of drums
And start a knickers band.
Don’t hang your knickers on the wall,
Don’t cook them in a pie.
Don’t use them as a catapult
To see if mice can fly.
Don’t take your knickers to the park
And push them on the swings.
Don’t paint them red and white and blue
When partying with kings.
Don’t write on them, don’t bite on them,
Don’t chop them up for fun.
Your knickers are for just one thing,
So throw them at your mum.
— Becci Murray
From Don't Wear Your Knickers on Your Head
You’ll find lots of very serious poems about really important stuff (like toenails, sausages and yaks) in this hilariously irreverent collection of illustrated poetry from children’s author Becci Murray. Don’t Wear Your Knickers on Your Head is the new rib-tickling read for ages 6 – 10 years.