Keep Your Elbows on the Table
Keep your elbows on the table.
Bite your nails before you eat.
Make an airplane with your napkin.
Spit some soda on your seat.
Put the chopsticks in your nostrils.
Serve the salad with your hat.
Throw your spinach at the ceiling.
Wipe your fingers on the cat.
When you’re drinking from a soup bowl,
slurp as loud as you can slurp.
Always talk when you are chewing.
Burp as loud as you can burp.
Draw a picture on your placemat.
Show your food before you swallow.
These are all the rules for dining
that a Monster has to follow!
— Darren Sardelli
Reprinted by permission of the author.