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The Score Is Tied, My Knees Are Weak

by Paul Orshoski
3.3
(4)

The score is tied, my knees are weak,
and time is running out.
The referee needs glasses,
and our winning streak’s in doubt.

I’ve bitten off my fingernails.
My stomach is in knots.
I think I am about to faint.
and now I’m seeing spots.

My heart is racing swiftly.
My legs are getting tight.
My palms are moist and clammy.
My knuckles just turned white.

I’m sweating so profusely,
I’m giving off a stench.
And I’m not even in the game –
I’m sitting on the bench.

  — Paul Orshoski

Copyright © 2008. All Rights Reserved. From I Hope I Don't Strike Out: and Other Funny Sports Poems. Running Press. Reprinted by permission of the author.

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From I Hope I Don't Strike Out: and Other Funny Sports Poems

I Hope I Don’t Strike Out is the first major anthology of funny poems about sports. It was designed to motivate sports-loving boys and girls to read by focusing on the funny side of sports. It covers all major sports in which kids participate, including baseball, football, basketball, soccer, swimming, skiing, running, karate, golf, volleyball, and dodgeball. Kids will love poems that serve up the “inside scoop” on how catchers make batters take their eyes off the ball, how nervous batters hit fastballs they can’t even see, blood-curdling cheers that cause opponents to run home to their mommies, what to expect your first day at karate school, what not to pack for a ski trip, and how to score the winning goal in a kindergarten soccer game. In all, 22 of the funniest sports poems ever published are sure to have kids laughing while they sit on the bench, waiting for a starter to foul out.

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About the Author

Paul Orshoski is a former schoolteacher, coach and principal from Sandusky, Ohio. He writes witty, humorous, rhyming children’s books and poems. Paul is the author of thirteen children’s books published by Treasure Bay, Inc. of Novato, California. Treasure Bay is a leading publisher of educational children’s books designed to enhance parent involvement in reading.

His books, part of Treasure Bay’s We Read Phonics series, include Where is My Frog?, Bugs on the Bus, Ant in Her Pants, I Do Not Like Greens!, Robot Man, Talent Night, Sports Dream, Dad Does It All, and Who Took the Cookbook?. The We Read Phonics books are designed to make it easy for parents to help their children improve phonics skills and read a decodable story. Each book combines a fun story with simple games for phonics and sight words. Three of his We Read Phonics booksWhere is My Frog?, Robot Man, and Sports Dream—were selected as Mom’s Choice Awards Gold Honor winners in 2011. Treasure Bay also publishes a We Both Read series. Paul has four books published in that series entitled, My Sitter is a T-Rex!, The Mouse in My House, The Mouse in My House / Un raton en mi casa, and The Ant and The Pancake.

Paul is also the author of several poems that appear in poetry anthologies published by Meadowbrook Press, Scholastic, Inc., and Little, Brown Books for Young Readers. These include: My Teacher’s in Detention, Dinner with Dracula, I’ve Been Burping in the Classroom, I Hope I Don’t Strike Out, What I Did on my Summer Vacation, and One Minute till Bedtime. Paul’s poems have also appeared in the following magazines: Boys’ Quest, Fun for Kidz, Hopscotch for Girls, Scholastic Action, and The School Administrator. Paul enjoys making kids giggle during school visits by enthusiastically performing his poems and books in small or large group settings wherever he is asked to present.

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